Guest blog by Dr. Tracy Brenner, “The Camp Counselor,” and Maine Camp alumna
Today’s kids are stuck in a toxic achievement culture that revolves around an obsession with success. It’s often a singular focus on what will help them get into the best college, make the best team or score the perfect grade. This creates a childhood where kids feel that they only matter because of their achievements and thus rarely embark on activities just for fun or because it is intrinsically rewarding. Camp is the antidote.
Does your fourth-grader have a meltdown because he missed one question on a math test?
Does your 9th-grader work all night to perfect her English essay, fearing that if she doesn’t get an A+, she won’t have her choice of top colleges?
Do you or the parents around you feel the need to find extra hours for expensive private basketball coaching, hoping that it will provide an edge to make an elite travel team?
These scenarios exemplify what Jennifer Breheny Wallace has labeled toxic achievement culture in her best selling book, “Never Enough,” and it creates kids who feel more anxious, depressed and that they, alone, are not enough.
The picture, however, does not have to look so bleak. Wallace notes that a key to minimizing the impact of toxic achievement culture is building intrinsic motivation– (the desire to engage in an activity because it is inherently satisfying), as opposed to extrinsic motivation– (engaging in an activity because of the external rewards it may bring). Sleepaway camp provides the space to build exactly this type of intrinsic motivation away from the pressures from home. It is a space where kids can identify and define their own paths and feel a sense of achievement and value for accomplishing their own goals. Or, they can simply enjoy trying new activities with no pressure to succeed at all.
My son, only 9 years old, while enthusiastic about attending a traditional sleepaway camp, was anxious about not attending a soccer camp during the summer because of fears of falling behind on his travel team. The intense pressure he was putting on himself (or absorbing from our culture) to focus so single-mindedly on a single sport made a traditional, well-rounded camp experience feel essential to my husband and me. We hoped that camp would offer a pressure-free, quintessential childhood experience.
In the months and weeks leading up to camp we maintained the same messaging: The beauty of the camp summer is that he gets to make his own choices. We did not care whether or not he played soccer at all. We wanted him to find what brought him joy. He had a rich summer, filled with new experiences, but ended up choosing to play soccer during most free periods because he wanted to. It was not because we were telling him he needed to practice more and not because he feared falling behind. He showed up at the field because it was how he wanted to spend his free time. Being completely motivated by his own interest and passions, he was able to connect back to the love of the sport, playing solely for the sake of playing.
While achievements exist at camp, they only matter in that camp bubble. There is no higher-level coach “dropping in” to scout future talent and no college advisor telling you that it will earn you an “edge”. The camp I attended had a very structured and rigorous swim program where you earned a different swim cap color for passing to the next level. Very few campers ever reach the highest level, the elusive “white cap.” I reached blue cap (the second-highest level) in my third-to-last summer. The pinnacle of success, a “white cap” became a goal of mine—one that I was unable to achieve in my penultimate summer. I returned for my final summer eager to pass, working hard, swimming in the rain and refusing to quit even when approaching the last days of camp, as counselors were taking the docks out of the water. On one of the last days of camp, I earned my white cap. This was not because I was the fastest or strongest swimmer. This meant that I could complete esoteric strokes like the “trudgen” with beautiful form. And while passing to white is one of my proudest moments, it means nothing outside of my camp bubble. I didn’t list “white cap” on my college application. I don’t brag about it at cocktail parties (well if I try, truly no one cares). It matters to me because it is a time in my life where I set a goal, worked at it, and achieved it just for my own feelings of pride.
I hope we all find ways to help reduce the pressure, competition, and intensity that characterizes many of our communities. While we work toward change, I take comfort in knowing that for seven weeks each year, I can offer my child solace in the woods in Maine, where he is building character strengths to defend against the intense pressure of home. Now, more than ever, sleepaway camps feel like the reprieve that children need today to escape toxic achievement culture.
Maine Camp Experience Resources & Tools
Looking for the perfect Maine camp for your child? Try out our helpful tool where you can select a camp by choosing: type of camp (girls, boys or coed) and session length (1-8 weeks). It helps to narrow down a few camps to a manageable list that includes rates. Then you can research these camps in more depth.
Next, be sure to contact our Maine Camp Guide, Laurie to discuss these camps as well as for free, year-round advice and assistance on choosing a great Maine summer camp for your child.
Talk to Laurie, our Maine Campcierge®, about choosing the right camp for your child and what to do in Maine.
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